Expect the Unexpected
A love letter to messy phases, mood swings, and not picking one thing.
Dearest people from the internet ❤
And a special welcome to my new subscribers and subscriberettes!
I think we live in a world where people like to know what to expect. If you’re an accountant, how can you also be… a plumber? (Okay, weird example. But you get what I mean.) I constantly feel like I need to explain who I am as an artist, what I do. Half the time I don’t even know. I just make whatever comes to mind.
Sometimes that’s elementary school-level drawings… upgraded with sticky diamonds. Other times it’s a commercial shoot for a big brand. Or I’ll invent an imaginary brand and try to give it a face. The consistency? It’s in the style, the tone, the message. Not the output. And yea, that’s confusing. To the world.
But hate to break it to you: we’re not just one thing. Not one label. Maybe we stick to something because we’re good at it. Or because we were taught to. Or because it feels safe. But if you don’t shift, if you don’t switch between mediums, worlds, and perspectives, there’s always going to be an invisible roof. (Not talking convertibles.)
Sometimes shifting means jumping into something new. Sometimes it means taking a few steps back, going back to what you know, just to remind yourself why you started. I always feel like I need to be better. A better person. A better artist. Growth. And honestly? It hurts. All forms of growing hurt. It’s not easy.
But my biggest fear? Getting stuck with what I already know.
Not every project is a life commitment. Some things are just a phase. And some phases deserve sequels. That’s something I’ve had to remind myself over and over again. Not everything needs to turn into a business or a brand or a side hustle with a three-year plan. This was my downfall when I first started. I would make something just because I loved it, and before I knew it, I was already thinking, 'Should I sell this?' Should I build a website? Should I turn this into a product line?
What starts from a place of pure creativity quickly shifts into: What’s sellable? What works? What doesn’t? And the second I start thinking like that, I feel the fun slipping away. The pressure creeps in. The experiments stop feeling like experiments.
Sometimes I wonder if people think I’m just making it up as I go. And honestly, they wouldn’t be completely wrong. When someone asks what I do, I get this mini identity crisis. I will say photographer and creative director, but that, of course, doesn't cover all that I can do. Or I just smile and say “a little bit of everything,” which always makes me sound like I’m unemployed.
I look at people who picked a lane, became a fashion photographer, a graphic designer, or an art director, and I wonder if I should have done that too. Imagine how nice it must feel to have one clear title in your Instagram bio. But every time I try to make a choice, I get bored. I end up gluing rhinestones to random objects, designing fake logos for non-existent brands, or taking photos of shadows on a wall.
Honestly, most days it’s just my mood that decides what project I’m working on. Some days I feel like making shiny, ridiculous things. Other days I want to shoot photos, edit layouts, or deep-dive into some fake brand concept that nobody asked for. It’s chaotic, but I’ve kind of made peace with that.
Impostor syndrome? All the time. But picking one lane? Not for me.
So if you’re here, following along, expect the unexpected. It might be diamonds, it might be duct tape, it might be both on the same day. But at least it’ll always be me.
Quick update for those who’ve been following along:
Half an hour after posting entry 13, I got a call from NockNock… I got accepted for the fair in March 2026!! Insane. NockNock is a fairly new art fair focused on emerging artists, and it’s happening in Amsterdam too. I’ll be making new work for it, which feels both exciting and slightly terrifying, but mostly exciting.
Yesterday I also sent my extended portfolio to the Hungry Eye team. Denise (from Fotolab Kiekie—remember the Artist DNA course?) told me to sketch out my wall in Illustrator, so I did. Still feels a bit boring and chaotic if I’m honest. And we still need to figure out the whole printing and framing situation… if we’re even framing at all.
Def a lot happening at once. Feels like I’m winging it half the time, but maybe that’s just part of how it works.
With love,
A
